Childhood Friends

We met on the playground.

You know that large open space with slides, climbing frames, swings and the inevitable sandpit. Is it bottomless or not?
Where you discover all about yourself and about socializing with others? Where you can experiment with Life and expand? 
Where I learned what discrimination feels like and that it is held up by the so called lower classes just as well. Where a bloody knee didn't always come from being clumsy on the monkey bars.

Yes, that's where we met. Can you imagine the tension in me, running into a stranger in that place?

But there was that big swing I wanted to give a try. And he was standing real close to it. Was he going to stop me? No, he felt like swinging too and the big swing was a bit hard to handle for one... So we mounted it, the two of us... both surprised at having such fun together. Apart from the swing we found out there was more to uncover and enjoy on that playground. So that's where we meet regularly now. I guess you could say we are Childhood Friends.

Jo

True Friends

   How can you know a friend is true?

   Friendship should make one feel happy, right? But not just in receiving. In giving also. And maybe not straight away, or not at all times. And maybe not that exuberant kind of joy, but one like little gems you can make a necklace with after a long time. Or that you carry with you in your 'pocket' [your memory; translator's note.]

   Fact is true friends don't leave when things are going bad. That's when they support you. Or you support them. 
Just watch ... any help from a friend triggers the wish to pay it back. Or forward.

   I do not agree with Ecclesiastes, when he claims that Frustration is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. (Eccl. 7:3).

   I remember feeling very tired once, while on my way to my work. I was fearing the next 6 hours I had to spend behind my desk... At a crossing I had to slow down my bike to let an elderly woman cross the bike path with her shopping trolley. She stopped and motioned for me to go first. Slowly I increased my speed... then she smiled at me. And I smiled back at her. In that short moment, in which we made a connection, I felt all my wearyness disappear. I felt wide awake and strong and relaxed.

   Now which friends make me feel that way? Joyful, supported, supportive and connected.

   What about the High Self Esteem I'm so often writing about? Without it, you will not act, having been delayed by doubts and being put off by your fear of failure. With sufficient Self Esteem you will either know you won't fail, or simply not mind failing [failing can be fun and it opens doors]. Self Esteem is not like being vain or egocentric. It simply makes you feel comfortable around others and you connect to others easily. You don't pull away, being too shy, but you 'radiate' something that disarms others. It is allowing you to spontaneously help and share, because you don't believe that people will turn your offers down disdainfully. Self Esteem definitely is a true friend.

   I don't like naming the obvious true friends... did you think of this candidate: Responsibility? True friend or false friend?   
   Irresponsibility, after some unthoughtful acts, leaves you in the midst of havoc and remorse. Definitely a false friend.
   What does Responsibility create? It makes you a person who wants to act wisely, a person who will deserve respect -and no doubt will get it from those who are wise enough to recognise its value-. It will keep you far away from regretting things, so you can spend your talent, your power, on going after your soul's deepest wish.

   Answer: true!!

   Last but definitely not least ...Lady Love, Lady Fear's antagonist... Love, not to be mistaken for lust, is not exuberant. Yes it is a happy and powerful feeling inside you, but it remains modest even though it's as strong as steel. To me, it gives a sense of fulfilment. Love can make you laugh or jest, but it is not flaunting, fleety or flamboyant. Yes it is flaming, but without burning you up. It warms you and everyone around you. What more heart warming friend can you wish for?

Love is patient and kind.

Love knows neither envy nor jealousy.

Love is not forward and self-assertive,

nor boastful and conceited.

She does not behave unbecomingly,

nor seek to aggrandize herself,

nor blaze out in passionate anger,

nor brood over wrongs.

She finds no pleasure in injustice done to others,

but joyfully sides with the truth.  

She knows how to be silent.

She is full of trust, full of hope,

full of patient endurance.

[1 Corinthians 13;4-7]

Jo 

back to false friends -->

False Friends

The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
   but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

Ecclesiastes 7:4

   

   There are those who are good to you, there are those who hurt you. Maybe they pretend to love you, maybe you are taken in by them so much that you can't see... but those who hurt you, don't love you.

   Yet it's so easy to welcome them. They praise you without holding back, and give you such good times. Awesome. Splendid. What's so bad about that?

   Your friend will tell you there's a shortcut to Hotel Happiness, right through the forest. Maybe it is the Forest of Feasts. He, or she, promises to travel along with you, if you take his/her advise.

   So you pack your bags and go. But after a while, all that seemed fun becomes a bore. You grow weary and your goal is not a mile closer than if you'd stuck to your own way.

   Your friend notices you're tired. Of playing while traveling, of tripping over sticks or getting stuck in hidden burrows. He offers to carry your bag for you, the bag that holds all that represents you.

   But his mood is changing, he's not such a pleasant companion after all. He begins to stall. And suddenly... he's gone. Leaving you in the middle of a dark forest, tired and lonely. Robbed of all your tools and funds. Of your talent and energy.

   I can give you the names of some of these con artists. Like Greed. He robs you of your ability to share, or do without. He makes you concentrate so on getting the best, it makes you a bad friend to others. 

   There's Fear, a lady who will take you to rock solid Safety, making you forego the riskier moores, where you might have uncovered your soul's yearning.

   If you turn Obedience into an art, it will stop you from defending whom, or what, is dear to you. Instead it will tie you down to undesirable commitments, that drain you and lead you away from who you are.

   The list of names is long, and if you take time to think, you can write down other names yourself. 

to be continued ...

Quick route to true friends -->

Philosophical Exercise 1 [pre S-serie]

Just a little training in philosophy for those who can't sleep. 
Or have piles of dishes to wash or laundry to iron...

What is Wisdom, is it the same as knowledge?

Compare your answer with this ...

Love never comes to an end.

There is the gift of speaking what God has revealed,

but it will no longer be used.

There is the gift of speaking in other languages,

but it will stop by itself.

There is the gift of knowledge,

but it will no longer be used.

[1 Corinthians 13:8]

And compare it with my post “ Essentials ”