Animals needing help.

I got another urgent mail from Michelle of the L.A. Rabbit Foundation. It seems that bunnies keep coming in at the shelter.  From the Netherlands it's hard to help, but maybe you, dear reader, can?

Please visit:  http://larabbits.org/

Strictness does not create powerful children

Have you been raised by the rule of finishing your plate, to be allowed your desert?  To finish your home work before being allowed to play?

This is supposed to turn children into adults who do not shrink from duty, even if it's not a nice thing to do.
But that's not the outcome....

It implies that all nasty tasks will pay off in something nice.  But life is not like that. Sometimes you work your a.. off  and you're NOT rewarded, life just keeps on sucking.

You were trained in task setting being done for you and that rewards are also coming to you from outside... you were trained to depend on the world around you.

If you were raised wiser, you would have been allowed to follow your own instincts, so you could learn where your judgment failed you,  so you could sharpen it. You would have learned to trust your own heart and that your ideas matter.  The self confidence that we need as adults.
And as for rewards... you should have learned that the joy of working on something that's connected to your soul and pride over your own endeavor, are the rewards...   Even if you tried and failed.. so you may try again!
No dependency on the society or world around you! It doesn't make a person anti social, but simply more confident. And confident people are healthier and function better.

The adage of finishing your plate first, and do your homework first can have even worse consequences ....
It may spoil your joy of doing something totally unimportant but fun... because oh, you haven't done anything boring before that. Which is your habit. Or there are unfinished tasks lying around...
And you may be a habtiual teeth grinder, working hard at finishing the job before resting... causing a burn out at age 50.

Play first and use the energy it gives to do what really must be done later on. If it still needs to be done! Some matters solve themselves over time.

The Bringer of Good Tidings

The bearer of bad news takes the risk of being killed.
But what about the bearer of good news?

It's easy to mistake the messenger for the message. Or at least to see them as a package deal.
I mean, we're only  human mammals.  Like the dogs of Pavlov, who knew the bell and food were connected - for a while at least.  Until the bell tolled but there was no food.
How long did it take the dogs to stop thinking of food at the sound of the bell?

How easy is it to lose your heart to the person who brings good news. Someone who makes you happy tends to become special, especially if you are surrounded by negativity ...   but it was the message you had to cling to, the information was something to incorporate in your life.
The messenger may hang around for a while. For a rest, or out of curiosity. But as a general rule (s)he is not connected to you nor to the message and thus is not meant to stay in your life. Be smart and don't focus on the bearer of good tidings while letting what they delivered grow stale.
Because ... do you have any idea how much it may cost you to get over letting go of the messenger?

A new backpack

In Dutch there is a metaphor in which a backpack signifies the load of life experiences or physical complications one carries into the future. Sometimes the backpack is replaced by a suitcase but the metaphor stays the same.

I have been having some real backpack troubles a few weeks ago. 

My favourite backpack was a blue-green one that I bought one or two years ago in a time in which I saw how my relationship with my mother had truncated my own personal development. Now it was time to work on my own life and I loved the coincidence of owning a new backpack while making a new start.
Over time I started to embellish the backpack with artificial flowers.  It was a game with a very simple rule: the flowers should not have been bought, begged for or stolen. I would either have to find them or receive them as a gift. As it turned out they were all single flowers, lost by their owners, lying bedraggled on the sidewalks or in the grass borders along the streets. A colourful mix of rejects showing off their worth on my bag. I fear I identified myself with them.

And now the zipper had given in... just while I had no money to have it repaired and wasn't able to repair it myself....
But no problem... I kept the bag for show and dug up an old backpack I got through the food bank, upon which I depended 5 years ago. Not exactly a favorite, but still pretty good.
That's what the cat thought too, when he used it instead of the litter box, making it totally unsuitable for buying food. Even carrying other stuff in it didn't sit well with me...
In only a couple of days I had lost two backpacks. My shopping tour for an affordable one did not pay off, so I settled for using my other bags instead. Who needs a backpack? 


A little while later.... just when I was not looking for a backpack, but only for comfort by visiting a dear friend and going out shopping together... did I run into it... the perfect backpack: the right size, beautiful color and a not too common design. All this and still fitting well within my budget. I took it from the shelf thinking how I didn't need it... I was doing pretty well using my shoulder- and handbags... but suddenly my heart leaped and I saw Serendipity smiling at me from behind the store's rack, whispering that it had a different value... worthy of a new blog post.

I saw what she meant. A new start. Letting go of old views and values. Even better: a backpack is not for carrying around old pain, it's for carrying what you can use to build the best possible future. It's a tool bag!

No longer asking Why but How...
For so often I have analysed why I have stranded in the here and now. I think I did find the answer.  But it's only of use if I see its lesson, get off my ass and walk again. Carrying only the new wisdom, not its history, with me.
I shouldn't put my dysesthesia and tinnitus in my backpack and definitely not the story of how I got them.. But the new life style, the techniques and list of good foods that are beneficial in my current physical condition.
And I have a lot of new 'things'  -sorry folks-  to put in my backpack: from dog walking and yoga to a whole bunch of new friends. 
The hike would no longer be about looking back to see which stone has "made"  me trip (huh huh.. I tripped over it) but about looking around to enjoy the view and  looking forward to see what should be my next step. 

If you pack your backpack that way, you are traveling as light as you can.

Hm, wonder what the beautiful cognac color of this new bag might signify :)

 Here -in Dutch- the solution Brigitte Kaandorp found for her life's suitcase ... leaving it behind. If you like it, you can keep it, but you'd better not.